There are times, when you might feel that going back to a past lover is a good idea. You may remember all of the good times you two shared, all of the wonderful things that they have said or have done for you. Going back to your ex, might seem like a good idea too, because you think about all of the time spent, invested into getting to know that person, and growing to love them.
Going back to an ex lover is a bad choice for five reasons:
- You exhaust your energy on someone that didn’t work out, versus on the one that will work out
- You reinforce negative expectations in the person, by anticipating another disappointment
- You demonstrate a lack of faith that you will find someone who will love and respect you better
- You lose the opportunity to be available to someone who might help enhance your vision, and provide to you the love and respect that you deserve
- You show your ex partner, that you are not serious about your standards, and that anything you say you will do, will never be taken with a grain of salt. They know they “got you” and that they are in control.
Now your ex lover, might be a good person. Yes, you can forgive them, and continue to love them. But, forgiving your ex, is not a concession into tolerating them in your life at any given point. In other words, you do not need to rekindle any romantic or platonic relationships with them, in order to demonstrate that you have forgiven and accept them.
You can fully, not involve them in your life, and still remain happy, peaceful and ready to shape your future. Remember, they became an ex for a reason. The problem could be you, it could be them…but in the end, it did not “work out.”
Maybe they lied to you. Maybe they cheated on you. Maybe the broke your heart so bad, that it took YEARS to strengthen your knees and stand again. Now, after all of what you have endured, they live their life, do what they please, see who they want, do what they want, while you have been suffering, WALTZ in and says to you, “hey.” And you’re ready to hop back in their lap?
Don’t do that. Don’t do that.
All of your pain that you have endured, is meant to help you grow, and channel that growth towards someone who deserve your love and ambition
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